As always this time of year, I feel like I'm right on the edge of my seat, holding my breath waiting for spring and all that it brings with it to get here. No amount of my checking the 10-day forcast hurries it up, and so instead, I am trying to stay in the moment. I have planted a few little seeds that will go outside later, but I don't want to get too carried away as it's still early and I don't want to leave Eric with too much to take care of. I am leaving for a trip to visit family with my dad. We fly out to Washington and northern California in his plane sometime early next week and we likely won't be back for 10 days. I'm trying to quiet the voice of guilt and just trust that this is a great opportinity to enjoy time with my dad and family and fly in the mountains, gaining a lot of valuable flying skills. And all the things I have let me feel anxious lately: the trip, my farming business, the organic farming conference this weekend in La Crosse, money, my mom's recurring cancer, will still all be here when I get back in two weeks or so-my leaving will change none of it. So off I go.
I have decided on a farm name. I'm still feeling unsure about it, but I have to just pick something and though I have asked for help from a number of sources, I have recieved little. That's disappointing, but I can't wait because I need to get business cards printed out for this weekend so I can have something to hand out. So here goes. I've chosen a name that nods to my swedish heritage and my love and gratitude for what I am doing. I'm calling my business
Tusen Tack Farm. Tusen tack is swedish for a thousand thanks. I like it and am trying to be relieved and not second guess myself too much because the debate with myself just needs to be over.
I turned 35 this week. It was no big deal, Leo and I baked a cake together and we all ate it monday night and more tonight. I feel a little sad, more grey hairs and wrinkles. I guess my consolation is that the lines on my face are from 35 years of smiling. That leaves a mark-on my face and my life, that I'm grateful for.
